collage

Be yourself. The world worships the original.-Ingrid Bergman

Anne introduced me to a new artist I am really liking: Vienna Teng

Incredible art by Cara Barer made with books!

Cutest song EVER!!!

umbrella weather

Rainy days, oh how I love thee!

walgreens man

I talked with a stranger tonight and I LOVED it.

He was a little buzzed. Our conversation started over Reeses Easter candy. He wanted to know where it was and I told him. Then he was in line behind me at the check out so I mentioned the candy as a conversation starter and it took off from there.

In about 6 minutes I discovered that he is origionally from New York City and had started singing and performing in nightclubs while he was still in high school. He sang for a number of years and then moved to Chicago where he has lived ever since. His birthday is next month and he will be 52... He's been to Dubuque, Iowa for a seminar and ended my unfounded belief that city people are cold, hurried and don't like to talk. (Admittedly, he might have been a little more open to talking since he'd had a few.)

Even with all the awesome stuff I've done/seen this week, in all honestly, talking to him was probably the highlight. Maybe because I did it by myself. It wasn't scheduled or something I was told to do. Or perhaps it was just refreshing.

Sometimes I feel like I live to hear people's stories. I want to know why they do what they do; what has happened to make them into who they are; where have they been and where do they plan to go?

There is so much inside of each person and people long for someone to draw it out. How much do you know about the people in the store with you....? How much do you know about the person you call your Best Friend?

flexibility

Physically I am a very flexible person; but you mess with my schedule, my lists, my time; I get upset. Something gets pushed off-kilter and I don't feel quite right.

My dominate personality type, sometimes known as a Beaver, is very structured and likes to have plans and timetables. Something I am FINALLY starting to understand: God is not a Beaver.

I've always been frustrated that I don't get clear instructions from God. I've always said that a detailed email would be nice...

Someone quoted Rich Mullins the other day where he said that there are two types of people: those with the smarts to figure out what to do and those who are just given very few options. (lol)

I feel like one of the limited option people. Even though I usually hate living on the fly it tends to be how my life goes. College; not a planned decision. Chicago; kinda fell into my lap. Swearing off of youth ministry; two years and three youth groups later... God's still chuckling.

God is teaching me that flexibility isn't just an asset on the mission field. It's for here and now. Sometimes I think He pushes this on me because I swing so far the other way... And when I am organized and need things to be in their place I depend on myself to make it all happen. He is teaching me that I have to trust Him or I'll just be frustrated forever.

precious

The Chicago schools are full of yelling, frustrated & dicouraged teachers, dirty mouthed kids and young eyes that have seen more than you can imagine.

My steryotypes are falling down all around me, I have to watch out so they don't hit me in the head.

These have been some of the hardest days I've trudged through but I've gained so much. I guess you really don't gain anything of worth without hard work.

I'm so glad I came to Chicago.

called it

I don't know... I just don't know...

I want ivy covered; laugh until it hurts; words; walking the streets; cherished; sidewise looks; hidden notes; out of the box; dying to get back to; comfortable & exciting; challenges me; questions me; randomness and creativity.

I don't know... I've seen it exist though. Maybe that's why I can't give up wanting it.

chicago

"I just blew in from the Windy City..."

I'm headed to Chicago tomorrow morning for a week long mission trip working with an organization called Inner City Impact. I'm really excited and a little nervous for the same reason; I've never done anything like this before. If you think of me during this week say a little prayer. :)

My travels are finally going to begin....

projection

How interesting it is that we will project onto others our own thoughts and actions. This is why if a husband has been unfaithful to his wife he will generally get upset and accuse her of unfaithfulness to him. Guilt begets accusation...

blessed

My church just told me that they are willing to support me in my missions trip to Chicago next week. Even with my poor planning God has blessed me. God is great. My home church is great.

Thank you for taking this weight off of my shoulders.

summer

When I anticipate summer I think sunglasses, freckles, the radio, popsicles and sundresses. But in reality it's sweat, scorching car seats, stuffy houses and skin cancer season.

It's a good thing we all have romantical notions and imaginations... lol

Some summer-ish music for you...

Follow Through - Gavin DeGraw
Love Song for No One - John Mayer
Our Song - Taylor Swift
Oxygen - Colbie Caillat

phonecall

No matter how hard I try, I've never been able to save you. Sometimes I wonder who is really supposed to be learning here; you or me? God's probably teaching us both.

My heart is broken by the worries that have been hurled at it.

I wish you could see what I see, dear friend... you are incredible.

Please just walk away.

I tried to write you a poem. But I just don't have the words. Sometimes, there are no words...

heart snipets

How long will things be confusing?

What words are correct to say?

Nothing seems to change.

Only have one shot; don't want to make a mistake.

Too much silence, not enough laughter.

What is wrong with me?

Miss brother almost unbearably.

Ouch.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Don't look up. Put down the phone.

So much more matters so much more.

Time is running out.