7.30.2008

"emerging" opinion

The Emergent Church – Perhaps you’ve heard that phrase thrown around your Bible College, the foyer of your church, on radio talk shows or you may have no idea what I’m talking about because you’ve never heard of it before. That’s okay, neither had I until a few months ago when one of my professors briefly vented about the evils of the Emergent church. I’m pretty sure no one in class knew what he was talking about, most were probably still half asleep – I think I was...

Fast forward a few months to last week...

Mom tells me dad is reading a new book, I see it on the coffee table and it looks cool so I ask him about it. (Yeah, yeah, you should never judge a book by its cover, I know. But I have a terrible habit of picking up books that look cool and then reading them just because I like how they look. Oddly enough, many of them turn out to be marriage books…I’m not married??) Dad and I start talking about this book and he tells me a little about it and so I decide to steal it from him and read it myself.


What IS the Emergent church? What is the church emerging from? I’ve not found this stated anywhere specifically but I assume that this generation is moving from the traditional church and emerging into something new and different. That’s what the emergent church is all about. In Why We’re Not Emergent by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck they have a list of things that might let you know if you are emergently minded or not. For example;

“If you listen to U2, Moby or Johnny Cash’s Hurt (sometimes in church), use sermon illustrations from The Sopranos, drink lattes in the afternoon and Guinness in the evenings, and always use a Mac; if your idea of quintessential Christian discipleship is Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, or Desmond Tutu; if you don’t like George W. Bush or institutions or big business or capitalism or Left Behind Christianity; if your political concerns are poverty, AIDS, imperialism, war-mongering, CEO salaries, consumerism, global warming, racism, and oppression and not so much abortion and gay marriage; if you believe who goes to hell is no one’s business and no one may be there anyway; if you are into bohemian, goth, rave, or indie; if you love the Bible as a beautiful, inspiring collection of works that lead us into the mystery of God but is not inerrant; if you support women in all levels of ministry, prioritize urban over suburban, and like your theology narrative instead of systematic; if you’ve ever been to a church with prayer labyrinths, candles, Play-Doh, chalk-drawings, couches or beanbags (your youth group doesn’t count); if you loathe words like linear, propositional, rational, machine, and hierarchy and use words like ancient-future, jazz, mosaic, matrix, missional, vintage, and dance; if you grew up in a very conservative Christian home that in retrospect seems legalistic, naïve, and rigid; if you want to be the church and not just go to the church; if you believe that doctrine gets in the way of an interactive relationship with Jesus – if all or most of this torturously long sentence describes you, then you might be an emergent Christian.”

(And I edited that list; it’s actually about two and a half pages long.)

I was surprised to find that a lot of things in their long list did apply to me. I didn’t know I was leaning toward the emergent bent, but apparently I am. Then I kept reading….

I did not much enjoy reading the chapters written by Pastor Kevin DeYoung as they read more like a Bible College text book; chocked full of big words with simple meanings and quotations from dead reformists. (There are more endnotes for just ONE of his chapters than for one of my term papers). In fact, even with one year of Bible College under my belt, I had a hard time understanding or deriving a direct meaning from his chapters. I agree with some of the foundational things that DeYoung has to say but it was hard to retain much respect for him, or even any interest, due to his content and constant belittling, and mockery of the emergent church, (this after stating he didn’t want to bash his Christian brothers) and many shaky quotations of Rob Bell (a favorite author of mine).

That was my first impression…. But as I kept reading and slowly let go of my biases and prejudice against a man I had predetermined not to like, I discovered that DeYoung is just like me, willing to stand up and fight/defend what he believes is the TRUTH. He doesn’t believe that the Emergent church has the Truth, and I think he may be right.

Ted Kluck’s chapters were more enjoyable and easier to understand. He writes like a blogger which is something this generation has become comfortable with. I personally like that style best in non-fiction books because it’s more like talking with the person.

Again, what IS the Emergent church? According to this book it’s a movement that the leaders-who-don’t-want-to-be-known-as-leaders, call a “conversation”. They say that they are redefining how they “do church” and everyone is welcome to contribute to the conversation about how it should be done. In reality there’s a lot of soft squishiness about the movement and not much that’s solid and easily grabbed on to. But they do have some really good ideas.
The Emergent church wants to move away from the traditional but while doing so they seem to focus more on shock value and self-help theology than anything else. I believe that they are right in realizing that many churches today are not meeting the needs of people (Christian’s are some of the most miserable people I’ve met), and this fact is reinforced by how quickly people are flocking to places like Mosaic church in LA and Rob Bell’s own Mars Hill in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Personally I like the whole lets-redo-church idea and I tend to lean towards the Emergent ideals of more love, color, change, creativity, refreshing, difference and celebration but if gaining those things goes hand in hand with kicking out doctrinal truths like the evils of abortion, the wrongs of homosexual orientation, the blurring of lines between truth and feeling… if it’s all about a spiritual journey and not the ultimate destination then the Emergent church is not something that I want to support.

As with most things in life, I believe it all comes down to motives. Are people running to the Emergent churches because they are angry, hurt or bored with their former congregations? Or are they going there because they see new ways to reach people that weren’t effectively reached before? Or are they just more entertained?

One of my biggest concerns now is how many people may wander to the Emergent church because their own church is too stuck in a rut, stuck in the past, or stuck on tradition to see that there ARE things that could be different, changes that could be made. There’s a lot of cool stuff out there and the Emergent church has discovered and embraced that. While they might have thrown away absolute truth (since they may never find it if they keep taking these life-long journeys towards finding it when they aren’t sure if it even exists), they do have some things right. Things like unconditional love and acceptance. But the thing about love is - if you love someone you can accept them, but if you really love them, then you love them too much to let them stay in their sin. I hope that people would love me that much. God did.

This is where another problem comes is, Freedom in Christ is something the Emergent church is big on. They claim their freedom to do what they want because they are set free by Jesus. That’s a wonderful idea but not when you run wild with it. I am not opposed to alcoholic beverages consumed responsibly (as in; you are of age, you don’t get drunk, you don’t drink and drive… etc.) and smoking is not a sin, just a really bad idea. But when your church movement is known for coolness, beer, espresso, cigarettes, ambiguity, tolerance, experience and love… you have to wonder if it’s a good idea. Or if it’s just a remake of the 1970’s.

My good friend Jack, with whom I mainly discuss philosophical aspects of life, books and Christianity, told me that he thinks this emergent church trend will die off in twenty years or so. I believe that I highly agree with him. Can something so insubstantial last very long? If it does disappear, I hope that we hold on to the best of it. That we learn from it and incorporate the best of its parts into some of our dying churches that cling to hellfire and brimstone, strict hymnal usage and the unwritten no-jeans in church rule.

In conclusion, I’ve begun to wonder if the Emergent church is this generation’s rebellion disguised as deeper spirituality. As was mentioned in the long list of you-might-be-emergent-if, many of us grew up in very conservative Christian homes and once we got to college or out in the world those beginnings seemed legalistic, naïve, and rigid to us. Is this our way of trying to provide a different beginning for our kids? Our friends? Ourselves…? But at what cost? You may think it’s overdramatic but how many people will go to hell because we (or the Emergent church) told them that sin doesn’t matter, it’s all about being who you are and living a good life. It seems to me that the Emergent church’s biggest message is “if you just live well, trying to be like Jesus, then you’ll probably make it to heaven.” When was the “if you’re a good enough person God will love you enough to let you into heaven” message EVER an accepted form of evangelism??? And show me where it’s advocated in the Bible.

I love the friends I have whom I believe are involved with the Emergent church, I also love Rob Bell’s books and Donald Miller. These are creative, innovative people with a dream they are trying to make into a lifestyle. But Truth has to fit in there somewhere. You cannot just float along in life on a cloud, drifting from one spiritual “experience” to another. There comes a time when you have to look around and see if your “experiences” and “journeys” are really getting you anywhere. Or, are you still in the same place you’ve always been? Kluck makes a good point in one of his chapters about the difference between experience and fruit. You can have as many spiritual experiences as you want, there’s nothing wrong with that, but if there is no fruit in your life, in my life, then there is no point. And we’ve been told that trees that bear no fruit will be cut down and burned.

In the Epilogue the author states: “I realized a number of years ago that it didn’t matter if I was against all the things I should be against, if I wasn’t for anything.” I love that statement because I have recently come to the same conclusion. I can rant about communion, proclaim my freedom in Christ to do what I want and I can sit in church and make sarcastic comments about every point of the service. But if I’m not FOR anything, then what is the point of my existence? The other day I wondered what had happened to my passion, the kind of passion that drives your life. I realized that it was gone and I’d replaced it with this second-rate kind of life where I wondered around with no purpose but just generally had a good time. I’m tired of that. I’m not suddenly going to get involved with three youth groups, volunteer at soup kitchens every weekend and spend all night studying the Bible, (That’s just too radical for me; plus, I’ve tried that, it’s like the other extreme. Extremes are not always good.), but I want to change. I want to combine who I am, who I was and who I should be all into one. It’s a life long process but I don’t need to wait to start it, I can start now. And it has a destination at the end of the journey; Christ-likeness.

Other than reading this book and a few others by Emergent leaders, I’ve only talked with my Dad and Jack about the emergent church. I’d like to hear what you think/know. I may be wrong about some of this, but as I stated above, it’s just my opinion. Opinions should be subject to change if better and truer information is presented.

So, let me know… what do you think? And what do you know?

7.29.2008

cantaloupes and such

I tasted the nectar stuff you can buy for humming birds today, it was pretty good. I am now wondering how it would taste as an ice cream topping…?

I had to write down the code for cantaloupes on my hand today and every time I happened to noticed it, it made me think of the numbers tattooed on the arms of Nazi prisoners in WWII. (I am a prisoner of Wal-Mart… sort of.)

A kid at work offered me pizza on a bagel. I said no thanks… now I kinda wish I had tried it.

I’ve been keeping an eye on this HUGE mushroom that’s been growing in our yard, I wouldn’t let anyone cut it or squish it because I wanted to see how big it would get. Today I noticed that it seems to have collapsed upon it’s self. I was sad because I wanted it to get even HUGER.

Today I found the root reason that women’s intelligence is slowly melting away and they have nothing of interest to contribute to a conversation… during breaks at work I’ve noticed that over half of the people that bring books to read are reading those trashy romance novels! Yeah, the ones with the half-naked guy on the front with his hair blowing around like Fabio… oh my gosh. How can you insult your own intelligence by reading such garbage???

Sometimes when I get bored working the cigarette lane I print out blank receipt paper and write poems on it. Pretty sure I am NOT supposed to do that.

7.27.2008

day to day

Today was really sad because my youth group went going off to CIY and I want to go with them more than I’ve wanted to do anything in a long, long time. I sat through the campfire last night, the CIY memories, the jokes; I even got to chat a little with our awesome bus driver who always goes with us. (He even remembered me from two years ago when I sprained my ankle and he drove me to the ER in our 50 passenger bus!). But when that bus pulled out at 6am this morning I was at home asleep because I cannot go with them. It would be too long to try and explain to you why CIY means so much to me – and why especially right now.

I went back to my journal last night to see what I was doing last summer at this time. I’m a little stunned. Things haven’t changed as much as I thought. To top it all off, some stuff I went through last year at this time has been totally reversed on me and I’m finally beginning to understand, (and finally forgive?) some stuff that I should have forgiven someone for a long time ago -- like when I said that I did. Yeah.

Forgiveness is something I’ve been thinking about more seriously of late. Steve (my pastor) said something the other day along the lines of: if you’ve forgiven someone, really forgiven them, then your relationship should not change with them at all. There’s no “I’ve forgiven them, but things are different now…” it’s just forgiveness. And that’s all.

When I say I forgive people though, I do that. I think; I forgive them, but things are different now. That’s not forgiveness, that’s a grudge. That’s a record of wrongs. So I’m working on forgiveness, if God can keep forgiving me for the things I do to Him everyday then I hope He can show me how to forgive the nothings and the every things that happen to me.

7.26.2008

yourself is ok

When I started this new blog I decided that I was going to make it less personal. Less personal and more “fun” and “trendy”, mirroring some of the other blogs I like to read. But that’s just not me. I mean, it’s a part of me, but not close to even a quarter of who I am.

(Just because it wasn’t as personal before doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to go all Oprah on you, okay friends? P.S. I do actually enjoy Oprah though.)

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to Be Yourself.

Next week my friend has two British soccer players coming to stay with her for the week and we’ve been planning stuff to do with them and thinking about all that and I was foolishly thinking in my foolish mind “They’re awesome people from Brittan, I want to make a good impression on them - blah blah blah…” then it hit me (reality, again– heh). They are just people.

The person I was making myself into didn’t look like me, act like me or say things I would say. I didn’t like that person much. She had Jennifer-Aniston-straight-hair, sweet high heels and a friend’s cute borrowed outfit - but Jessie Denbow wasn’t really around there anywhere. So I’m shedding all of that. If some guys from Brittan won’t be my friend because I’m wearing jeans, no lipstick and have a PLAID purse, then I guess I really don’t want to waste my time getting to know them. Besides, that girl they would have been friends with, wasn't me anyway. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt though. It’s not that I think they will scorn me if I don’t look a certain way; it was just all in my head.

I tend to play a lot of mind games with myself. Some of them are very good and help me to keep up good habits and all that jazz… but other ones are not good, they are very destructive but the destruction takes awhile to recognize.

I’ve been thinking and learning a lot lately but I won’t post it all right now because I’m guessing that reading a book that long on a computer screen wouldn’t be good for your eyes. But I do want to blog more about what I’m living and learning, I learn best when I am telling someone about things so even if no one reads this, I will at least read it over myself sometime and maybe learn something I needed to know.

-Good-night

7.22.2008

smile

You never accuse of the many things,
But guilty so I prove.
You pleaded, prodded, begged of me
But atrophied muscles seldom move.
.
The one you see most everyday
Is cheaply taken off the shelf.
Is it not a perfect likeness?
A twin of its blooming former self?
.
One day you slowly dared to peep
Where others never travel,
My quaint white curtains drawn aside
Expose molded bits left to ‘ravel.
.
The window panes they blocked you out
Too bad glass is painted clear,
For in the end you caught a glimpse
Of each and every tainted tear.
.
Unshed -- unwed to a purpose or a reason
So much filth so deep ingested
How can I spit it out? I asked
“Be happy”, you suggested

7.20.2008

memories of a blanket

When Aslan, Grace and I were born we were each given a soft, brightly colored blanket. We have never actually called them “baby blankets”, but I suppose that that is exactly what they are.

Being the eldest I was the first I participate in what would become a tradition, my blanket was light pink with soft silkiness around the edges. I have never had a pet name for my blanket, for as long as I can remember it’s just been known as “the pink blanket”. I do believe that it might have been fondly called a “night, night” for awhile. Yes. I named by blanket Night Night… I’ve never been so good at nicknames…

Aslan’s blanket was a minty green color, also with silky edges. (The blankets were all the same type, just different colors.) His blanket won the nickname “Bashie” (pronounced Ba-She), over time. We’re not really sure where this sophisticated and seemingly unconnected named originated. We think it might have been Aslan’s way of trying to say “blanket” when he was little and it just stuck even after he learned to speak correctly.

Grace’s blue blanket, (known as "Deet De") was the last, and the most cheaply made we gradually found out. She’s actually had two blankets because the first one deteriorated so quickly and soon it looked like a spider web and so mom bought her a new one. The last I knew though, the old one was still stashed in a drawer because she loved it and didn’t want to get rid of it. As a naughty little child, I believe that her blanket was always a great aid to her the many and multiple times she escaped from her crib.

These blankets have been pals and companions. I can only speak for myself but my blanket has been a constant comfort with me throughout my twenty year life. I generally use it as a sort of free form pillow that I can shape or squish into the uncomfortable crevice between my pillow and the wall but it has served many purposes. When I’ve had stomachaches or headaches somehow laying my blanket on the painful spots helps to sooth them, this idea came from my mom telling me she use to do that with her blankie when she was little. The pink blanket has also been soaked with many tears for many reasons. Currently its’ main use is as the tool in a simple neck exercise my chiropractor insists that I do each night before I go to bed.

When my cousin Denny and I were younger we would stay up late in our old house watching taped reruns of the Batman show from the ‘60’s then we would clothespin towels, or in my case, my blanket, around our necks and run around the house on missions. I was usually Batgirl and he was Batman. I remember having many conversations with Commissioner Gordon on our back staircase, also known as Police Headquarters.

So while blankets may be for little children, I will never let my blanket go. It’s got huge holes in the middle but it’s still one of the softest and most comforting things to me. It usually goes wherever I go and I think it will probably stay that way.

7.17.2008

have you ever noticed...

...once you pass the 100 page mark, the rest of the book goes like wildfire?

I am currently reading a biography of the poetess Edna St. Vincent Millay called, Savage Beauty. It's not a book I would highly reccomend but I am enjoying it, mostly because I've never heard about her before.

I read a poem in there today that captured a bit of how I feel and why I cannot just stay in one place forever, at least not yet...

How shall I know, unless I go
To Cairo and Cathay,
Whether or not this blessed spot
Is blest in every way?
.
Now it may be, the flower for me
Is this beneath my nose;
How shall I tell, unless I smell
The Carthaginian rose?
.
The fabric of my faithful love
No power shall dim or ravel
Whilst I stay here, -but oh, my dear,
If I should ever travel!

7.15.2008

toothpastefordinner

I find this humorous:


7.11.2008

two-faced

While being at work I’ve discovered just how two-faced people (especially girls) can be. Someone left the room today and everyone suddenly started in on how awful it was to work with her and this and that and blah blah blah… I suddenly had this fear that they talked about me this way as well when I wasn’t around! I was seized with the panic that I mustn’t do anything that would put me in a bad light or give them a reason to complain about me what I wasn’t around. Then I realized something; whether I gave them a reason or not, they would probably still say some negative things about me sometimes. If I was quiet I’d be considered too quiet, loud or too loud. Quick working or lazy… who knows. And as I thought about it my tension eased. There are two-faced people everywhere and they will always find something to talk about so if you live your life always worried about what people are saying about you, then you’re not living at all. Just let it go and accept that someone is always saying something… that might even give you (me) a reason to stop and listen more carefully to the things that are coming out of MY mouth.

silent

You know that I love words. They are my joy, my passion- I feel less alive if I cannot express my heart and mind through written words. Words are one of my greatest strengths.

But what do you do when your greatest strength fails you? Batman always has his utility belt. Super Man just keeps an eye out for kryptonite… but what about us less-than-super humans? Music is a great backup power if words are not available because words are intertwined with the beautiful melodies. But what about when it all fails, when there’s nothing left but you and God?

Silence

...speaks louder than any audible sound or written word. Silence takes control. Silence is empty but overflowing. Silence can heal or it can tear apart. They say that silence is golden, but I say that silence is glass because you can break it, shatter it and it can be very heavy…

I wish that there was more silence in my head.

7.10.2008

rockin' the scarf

I really enjoy checking out Altamira NYC's blog because she always has such neat pictures of New York City style. Today's post really caught my attention because if you've seen me in the fall or winter you know how much I like my scarves. I was wishing that I could find a way to incorporate them into my summer wardrobe, now I see how I can! I love this picture. So simple, yet so elegant and fun! The woman also looks so friendly, I would like to meet her...

7.07.2008

dreaming

How much store should we put by dreams? I studied dreams a little in psychology last semester but the most I feel like I discovered was that you tend to dream about what is stressing you, exciting you, what’s going on in your life or what you really want…

I have some friends that put a big emphasis on dreams and dream interpretation. They can pull the most obscure meanings from things that seem straight forward to me. I tend to think that’s silly but what about the dreams that are yelling a truth at you blatantly? I usually disregard dreams because I figure that I’m not thinking with my logical mind, it’s all emotion in dreams… right???

Maybe dreams uncover our true feelings that have been lost and mixed up in the conscious world where we pick everything apart. I wish I could do something on impulse for once. Stupid analytical brain.

7.02.2008

reasons # 574 and #462 to visit NYC... or live there

Dylan's Candy Bar, run by Dylan Lauren, daughter of top designer Ralph Lauren. Dylan says that she loves candy and her new shop is like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory come to life.


Improv Everywhere doesn't just pull stunts in New York, but I believe that their mastermind is a New Yorker. Check them out on YouTube because I cannot describe here just how crazy awesome they are.

(207 people freeze all at the same time in Grant Central Station.)

overwhelmed

So much to do and say... it never, never, ever fits all into one day. It's a little depressing.

First and foremost I am very excited right now because I've just heard from a friend who has been silent for almost two years... I still love you and I didn't know that you visited me here but I'm so glad that you do. I shall write as soon as I can, there's so much to say.

a little story...

The windows were down and the music created a beautiful background for the movie worthy moment. Three friends, midnight approaching and the beauty of the dark and an open road stretching before them. Her retro '50's sunglasses kept the hair back from her face like a headband as her gaze shifted from the road to the sky. The stars were out. She hadn't realized that. It was rather like seeing an old friend for the first time after you've just gotten to the point of almost forgetting them. Memories of all those different nights and different situations all connected by the act of starring up at the stars... "Sometimes I think of stars like freckles," she spoke her thought aloud to no one as it suddenly occurred to her. The memories past away, the car sped on and she reminded herself not to forget the stars again. They are too wonderful. She is me.