imperfect

What does love do? 1 Corinthians 13 comes to mind but I need something a little more... real? Something imperfect, examples of real life. Love may be patient, kind, selfless and keeps no records of wrongs... but I am not love.

I am human.
I am disappointed.
I am alone.
I am waiting...

What do I do? I cannot change someone else. I can only change myself. But what if that is not enough? Am I the only one who worries these things? For when I say them aloud I'm often ridiculed, ribbed and raked over the coals.

What do I need to do to be happy? What would it be like to start all over again? I've been here so long that I can't remember much else. Afraid, planning, worrying, wishing, thinking, hoping, dreaming, hinting, hurting, asking, vulnerable, at a loss for more words - to say the very same thing.