inactivity

I've discovered that I become more exhausted by inactivity than by constantly being busy. Great amounts of time not used to actually accomplish anything frustrate me. I'm confused about this because I LOVE spending time together and just sitting around, hanging out with my family or beloved friends but in the end I feel like I need to have something to show for it. I think I need to lay aside the extreme value I place on time and learn to let things flow... value the people above the productivity. This is so hard for me... its hard to understand or explain why I am this way.

On another note... I constantly try to outweigh the bad things that happen with the good... but sometimes it doesn't even up. And I need to realize that it's okay. I tell myself the lie that if I just work harder at it, it will all even out. But it never does. The scale always tips to one side or the other. I'm pretty sure that's just life.