good bye

I hate starting over. It's so hard.

I don't even know how to go about this. It feels like a divorce. I loved you. I gave you my heart. I wanted to help you grow, to take care of you, to be there to hug you when you were sad; to make you laugh and to teach you things.

I didn't know that I would love you this much. I've learned so many things about you in such a short time. I had plans for you... so much good.

When you wonder why I don't love you, why I just picked up and left without a good-bye; I pray that somehow you know that I miss you. Because I do. My heart aches for you and I still pray for you.

I'm not good at loving people. But I love you.

You may think I'm talking about a boy. I'm not. I miss my kids. They were actually mine this time.