bittersweetness

I feel like I’ve grown younger since I’ve been at school.

In some ways it’s really good. I’ve got the typical Firstborn syndrome of being responsible, serious and driven. It’s been really nice to learn to let go and have a little fun. Not freak out if some one is a little late. Learn to roll with the punches, you know? I’m not saying I’m good at it, but it’s been nice to stretch and learn. I love to learn.

But in another way I feel like I have lost a lot. I’ve lost so much that I worked so hard for. I use to be very efficient and able to stay on task. Being at school I’ve developed a mild form of ADD. I also feel like I’ve lost self-control in a lot of areas. I hate that. But I’ve found a way to make it serve me; I use to rag on people with no self-control and say that they just needed to suck it up and do such-and-such but I am at the other end of the stick now and I am learning to understand that it’s a little more difficult than I thought it was.

Hmm… just some bittersweetness that’s been on my mind today.