Today was really sad because my youth group went going off to CIY and I want to go with them more than I’ve wanted to do anything in a long, long time. I sat through the campfire last night, the CIY memories, the jokes; I even got to chat a little with our awesome bus driver who always goes with us. (He even remembered me from two years ago when I sprained my ankle and he drove me to the ER in our 50 passenger bus!). But when that bus pulled out at 6am this morning I was at home asleep because I cannot go with them. It would be too long to try and explain to you why CIY means so much to me – and why especially right now.
I went back to my journal last night to see what I was doing last summer at this time. I’m a little stunned. Things haven’t changed as much as I thought. To top it all off, some stuff I went through last year at this time has been totally reversed on me and I’m finally beginning to understand, (and finally forgive?) some stuff that I should have forgiven someone for a long time ago -- like when I said that I did. Yeah.
Forgiveness is something I’ve been thinking about more seriously of late. Steve (my pastor) said something the other day along the lines of: if you’ve forgiven someone, really forgiven them, then your relationship should not change with them at all. There’s no “I’ve forgiven them, but things are different now…” it’s just forgiveness. And that’s all.
When I say I forgive people though, I do that. I think; I forgive them, but things are different now. That’s not forgiveness, that’s a grudge. That’s a record of wrongs. So I’m working on forgiveness, if God can keep forgiving me for the things I do to Him everyday then I hope He can show me how to forgive the nothings and the every things that happen to me.
I went back to my journal last night to see what I was doing last summer at this time. I’m a little stunned. Things haven’t changed as much as I thought. To top it all off, some stuff I went through last year at this time has been totally reversed on me and I’m finally beginning to understand, (and finally forgive?) some stuff that I should have forgiven someone for a long time ago -- like when I said that I did. Yeah.
Forgiveness is something I’ve been thinking about more seriously of late. Steve (my pastor) said something the other day along the lines of: if you’ve forgiven someone, really forgiven them, then your relationship should not change with them at all. There’s no “I’ve forgiven them, but things are different now…” it’s just forgiveness. And that’s all.
When I say I forgive people though, I do that. I think; I forgive them, but things are different now. That’s not forgiveness, that’s a grudge. That’s a record of wrongs. So I’m working on forgiveness, if God can keep forgiving me for the things I do to Him everyday then I hope He can show me how to forgive the nothings and the every things that happen to me.
2 comments:
this is one of those lessons that you have to constantly re-learn if u don't put it in regluar practice. And it's something we can do on a daily basis. High five for figuring it out on your own instead of having some good-hearted friend shove it down your throat(like I got)
No, that wasn't you. It was actully my dad.
and thankyou! are you still planning on coming up 2 days early?
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