the point

Do you ever have those moments where you're like... umm... pretty sure I missed it.

Not the bus. Not dinner... the Point.

I feel like that's where I'm at. Here I am, in the Bible Belt of the USA, surrounded by the next generation of pastors, youth ministers and Christian counselors and I feel like I have no idea... about any of this.

I know the facts. Jesus, God, Holy Spirit. The Ten Commandments (though I must admit sometimes I like the Charlton Heston version better). Words like wittnessing, redemption, apologetics and salvation are a typical part of my vocabulary. But what's the point?

<---- I'm reading this new book (up there) and its making me think. {Which I love.} It's making me ask myself what I'm doing. I'm dinking around here BS-ing book reports and worrying about drama while some of my friends are actually out there living life and living God and I am envious.

I don't know how.

Some people use the term "spiritual journey" and I feel like thats where I'm at. I'm moving towards something but I'm not there yet. I'm moving towards a better grasp and understanding of what it means to be a Christian. Some times I feel like I get it.

But today; I know that I don't.

I feel like I'm starting at the bottom. My hands are empty and its dark out. You might think that I would be discouraged to be back at the beginning. But no -- its actually quite refreshing.

I feel like I'm allowed to peel away the onion-like skin of dried up arguments, hurtful experiences and continued annoyances with the church/Christianity. I'm looking for what's underneath; the heart of the matter. What DOES a Christian look like? Do? Say?

Don't quote any scripture at me yet, please... Just let me think about it for awhile.

But then you start to think there must be more to Christianity, more than just laying your life and sins at the foot of the cross. I came to realize that preachers were telling me to lay my life at the foot of the cross and weren't giving me anything to pick up. -Shane Claiborne, Irresistible Revolution